


His Captain's Denial

by anxiety_junkie



Category: Firefly
Genre: Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-18
Updated: 2010-09-18
Packaged: 2017-10-11 23:10:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/118202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiety_junkie/pseuds/anxiety_junkie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for Round 21 at maleslashminis for beatriceflaunts who wanted, "non-sexual teasing, flirtation that goes further". Not quite sure I managed it, but I hope you like it anyway. Thanks to lvs2read for the beta and wildannuette for the plot bunny! Title courtesy of the <a href="http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/6/26/89794/FFTitleGenerator.html">Firefly Title Generator</a>. Translations in mouseover.</p>
    </blockquote>





	His Captain's Denial

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Round 21 at maleslashminis for beatriceflaunts who wanted, "non-sexual teasing, flirtation that goes further". Not quite sure I managed it, but I hope you like it anyway. Thanks to lvs2read for the beta and wildannuette for the plot bunny! Title courtesy of the [Firefly Title Generator](http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/6/26/89794/FFTitleGenerator.html). Translations in mouseover.

Mal stomped into the galley in his too-tight suit, his glare daring anyone to say anything; but most of his crew were busy staring at the walls, the table – anywhere but at _him_. Everyone except River, that is, who just sat there and grinned. "Not one word, girl, or you won't be flyin' Serenity for a month, _dŏng má?_ " She mimed zipping her mouth closed, still grinning.

He then took a closer look at his crew, noting something a little peculiar. "You're not lookin' much like you're ready to go, Zoe. Mind tellin' me why that is?"

She remained sitting at the table, hands folded placidly in front of her. "Probably because I ain't goin', sir."

He blinked. "Is that right. You gonna give me a reason, or is that too much to ask from my first mate?"

Jayne looked up from fiddling with Binky. "Lady can't go if she don't have a dress, Mal. Wouldn't be right, with you so fancified an' all."

"What about that white slinky thing you wore…" Zoe didn't move, didn't say anything, but suddenly her eyes went cold and flat and he knew better than to push. "No dress. Right." He looked at his crew scattered around the dining table that still felt a little too big a year later, and got that familiar sinking feeling in his stomach. "Kaylee, you still got that pink confection I paid too much money for?"

Kaylee twirled a lock of hair around her finger and looked as apologetic as she could without quite meeting his eyes. "Sorry, Cap'n, but remember a few months back when you told me we had no coin for the new couplings Serenity needed, and I said I'd take care of it? Well I, umm, sold the dress. But don't you worry 'cause I got a real good price!" She started to look worried as he gaped at her. "Did I do somethin' wrong?"

"When you said you'd take care of it, I thought you meant you were gonna make things work with the stuff we already had!" Mal spluttered. That sinking feeling was getting worse, and he didn't like it one bit.

"Weren't no way, Cap'n," she said firmly. "Those couplings were completely shot and we didn't have anything else that'd work." She brightened. "But I don't know why you're so upset, I keep tellin' you that suit shows off your backside just fine."

Zoe snorted with suppressed laughter as Jayne muttered, "Gorramnit, girl, I coulda gone a lot longer without hearin' that."

"Do I need remind you all that the only reason I'm participating in this foolishness is so we can impress the client enough that he feels comfortable givin' us his money? Now, one of you is getting gussied up and comin' with me and I don't rightly much care who it is. Except Jayne."

Jayne scowled and put his hand back down.

"River, you gotten hold of anything fancy-like lately?" Mal was grasping at straws and he knew it, but it was better than the alternative.

"Not the right Tam for this job, Captain. Need to take the right one or it won't work." River was still grinning like a Buddha that had lost weight and decided to try out life as a member of the fairer sex.

Mal slowly began shaking his head, frantically glancing around to make sure Simon wasn't hiding in the room somewhere. "Oh, no. No no no. I am _not_ going to this thing with that brother of yours. No way, no how."

"But Cap', this is your chance! You can finally –" Anything else Kaylee might have said was muffled when River gently but firmly placed a hand over her mouth.

"Chance for what?" Jayne asked.

Mal ignored him. "Not lookin' for any chances, _mèi mei_ , I keep tellin' you that. And we are not talkin' about this again. Ever."

Zoe leaned back in her chair, trying not to look smug and failing. "Well, sir, it's either go with Simon or go alone, and we were specially told you needed to bring a date to this _wǔ huì_. Don't do much good to ask a man for his money if we don't follow his orders, now does it?"

He scowled at her. "Y'know, if I were a suspicious man, the thought might occur to me that this is a set-up. But since I'm not a suspicious man, I'm just gonna assume the fact that suddenly none of the female-type people on my boat got any fancy gew-gaws for this hootenanny is simply lack of foresight on their part." He tried crossing his arms but gave up when the jacket pulled tight across his back. "River, give the good Dr. Tam my regards and tell him I expect to see him in the cargo bay in twenty minutes wearin' his best party dress." He turned around and stomped back out of the galley, studiously ignoring the giggles coming from behind.

"Chance for what?" Jayne asked again.

 

  


* * *

  


 

"Gorramnit, River, what the _dì yù_ did you do to my jacket?" Mal heard Simon complain as the doctor came into the cargo bay. "I look like a complete jackass!"

"It didn't fit," River chirped as she bounced along behind her brother. "Now it does."

"I'll say," Simon muttered. "I'll be lucky if I can button the rutting thing." He looked up at Mal. "Sorry I'm late, Captain, but _someone_ decided to remake my suit and I had to wrestle it away from her." He glared at his sister, who brushed his hands away to fuss with the shoulders of his jacket. "And can somebody please tell me why I'm dressed up like this anyway?"

The black suit he'd been wearing when he first came on board had always been a little large on him, but Mal always assumed it was simply the style for a Core-made outfit to waste as much expensive fabric as possible, instead of a sign that Simon's search for his sister had resulted in the loss of quite a bit of weight. But living on Serenity had helped put some bulk on Simon, ironically enough, and River's alterations made it fit almost as tightly as Mal's own did, showing off his broad shoulders and narrow waist to good effect.

Mal was gonna kill that girl.

He stared hard at River and brought up a very satisfying image of her skinny body strapped to the front of the ship as they left atmo. The long hair disappearing in a fireball on the top of her head was a nice touch, he thought.

She just stuck her tongue out at him.

"Don't really care about how you look, Doc," Mal lied, "but there's been a slight change of plan. So, uh," he swallowed hard, "you gotta be my, uh, date." Why didn't he think to have River explain this to her brother instead of doing it himself? He really needed to learn to delegate more.

Simon just stared at him. "Your date."

"Yep."

"I thought Zoe was supposed to go to this _fèi huà_ with you?"

He tried and failed to cross his arms again. "Yeah, well, she apparently doesn't have a decent frock for the occasion. And neither do any other of our women-folk. And since I ain't lettin' Jayne within twenty feet of a fancy dress party, that leaves you."

Simon scratched his ear, looking pained. "Um, you do remember how awkward I am in social situations, right?"

"You think I'm gonna be any better off? At least these are Core-type folk like yourself, or pretending to be, anyway. I'm gonna stick out like a sore thumb in this suit that's liable to split up the back if I bend over." Mal began to relax as Simon's lips twitched. "I'm as unhappy about this as you are," he lied again, "but there's no choice if we want this job."

"Oh, it's fine, Captain. Just to warn you though, it's been a long time since I've done any dancing, so I may step on your feet."

Mal had to clear his throat a couple of times before he could answer, ignoring the little witch grinning over Simon's shoulder. "I'll keep that in mind." He gave Simon an elegant bow and offered his arm.

"You know, Mal," Simon murmured as they reached the cargo bay doors, "if you wanted to get me alone, all you had to do was ask. But dinner and dancing certainly beats just sneaking into your bunk one night like I had planned."

Mal stumbled down the gangplank.

 

~fin


End file.
